Friday, September 19, 2008

Why do the Mets suck so much in the month of September?


Jerry Manuel, Manager of the Mets
or...
Morgan Freeman

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Not that we're saying he belongs in a zoo, but...








Mario Armando Lavandeira, Jr. = Perez Hilton
Perez Hilton = Monkey
Perezonkey

The Horse Face


In a quick Google search, I discovered a phenomenal website devoted (lovingly) to SJPs horseface, definitely worth checking out.

Tori Spelling, Sarah Jessica Parker, Hillary Duff = equine

Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires

Certain people have problems with that fact that signage in the Colorado Rockies portrays Smokey the Bear only wearing pants.

I'll admit, I find his pectoral muscles slightly disturbing. I'm also unsure how a shovel helps Smokey prevent fires. But I'm sure there is a logical, well-thought out reason.

The main issue with Smokey, his pecs and jeans is the implication that Smokey had parts that only jeans can cover. Similar to Donald Duck who typically wears no pants but upon exiting the shower, wears a towel wrapped around his body.

Obviously we can understand that these cartoon characters were modeled after humans. And yes, when Donald gets out of the bath he needs to dry off. We can of course ignore the fact that he has feathers and that ducks spend the majority of their time in water. Letting all of that go, we still have a duck that won't wear pants and a bear with a disturbingly hairy, rugged chest.

Bottom line: Not okay.

March of the Garcia?

Ordinarily penguins are cute.
Ordinarily.

Andy Garcia = maniacal penguin
Andy GarPenguin


This makes her much cooler by association


Nicole Scherzinger = Crush from Nemo


Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Rhiannaffe

Here at Abstinence in Alexandria, we believe and attempt to convince others that everyone has an animal twin.

There are times when these similarities are striking.

And then there are times when these similarities are down right weird.

Hope he likes baseball



This is so spot on it hurts.

Oh Lloyd!

You thought we'd stop at people, didn't you?



Of all the insane shoes available this summer, these two pairs have to be my personal favorites:



Pair 1 (at left): Fringeriffic

Pair 2 (below right): Just plain weird.

She asked for it, frankly


Brooke Shields + Ridiculous Dress =
Brookerich


Yeah, yeah. Not our best work.

The Evolution of Republicanism


Okay, prepare yourself folks. Before anyone gets punchy, let the record state that this is in fact a nonpartisan side by side.


Dan Bartlett -> Karl Rove -> Dick Cheney

Don't fight it, we all see the resemblance. Just enjoy it.

I <3 Him




Matt Damon = Cockatiel
Mattatiel

This just had to be done


Gary Levox, lead singer of Rascal Flatts = Hedgehog
Levoxhog

Oh come on, you see it.


Stacy Ann Ferguson = Fergie
Fergie = Klingons
Fergklingon

So what if I liked "Even Stevens"


Shia LaBeouf = Meerkat
Shia LaMeerkat